I never thought that I would have to admit that I have a "disease" but in a way I do. I have something called plaque psoriasis. It is a skin condition. I am fortunate because I have a mild case. It is an ugly thing and for some people it is horrendous. I have spent hours researching it. Here is my story.
Four years ago, things were as bad as it can get with work (calling it a hostile work environment would have been a nice way to put it), Jeff's mom got sick and within six weeks was gone from us, and I was finding myself exhausted. That is when it suddenly struck.
I had knicked my thumb on my right hand while trimming my nails one night. It was a small cut and I had had this many times before so I didn't worry. Over the next week, I noticed that a strange scabbing had started covering my thumb even though the cut was healed. It itched and was ugly looking but nothing too bad. Within two weeks, I saw that the scabbing had spread over the palm of my hand and was now showing up on my left hand as well. I started trying to get rid of it thinking it was just a reaction to something. After a month, both of my hands were covered in this strange scabbing and it was now showing up on my feet. It caused my hands and feet to itch and crack and bleed. It was painful and there didn't seem to be anything that would help it. I went to renew my driver's license and they couldn't take a print because my hands were so covered in this stuff. They made a note that I had a skin rash that made it impossible to take the print.
I was given the name of a doctor in Mansfield that dealt with skin rashes. I went to her and she did an allergy test only to show that I was allergic to pine trees (I already knew that) and some of the ingredients in carbonated drinks and processed foods. She did a biopsy and said it wasn't cancer. Then she told me to go to the dermatologist because she had done all she could do.
I started researching it and I found it was something called psoriasis. I finally tried to contact a dermatologist. The one in Cleburne I wanted to use had a six month waiting period. I wasn't that patient. I was hurting and I wanted help now. I found a dermatologist in Arlington and started going to them. I asked them on the first visit if it could be stress related and if it was psoriasis. I was given the eye roll ("great another self diagnosis from the internet") and then told that stress had nothing to do with it. Over the course of 8 months, hundreds of dollars for visits, time off work to go to visits, and creams that did nothing, they finally decided that there was nothing they could do for me and I would "just have to live with it".
I decided to go to my family doctor and get his opinion. He was out and his fill in was a grumpy "old school" kind of doctor. (I don't mind the old school part but grumpy I could do without.) He took one look at my hands and feet, told me it was psoriasis, and then ordered blood work. The end for him. No recommendations, no medicine, nothing. I was more than frustrated. I contacted the dermatologist in Cleburne and got lucky. They had an appointment in 2 weeks open up. I took it.
When I got to the dermatologist, I had every stupid cream and thing the previous dermatologist had given me. Now this dermatologist was "old school" and kind. He looked at my hands and feet, he looked at all the medicines I had been given and shook his head. He then asked me some questions. He was the one person who looked me in the eye and told me that "yes, stress was a huge factor in all of this."; "yes, I did have psoriasis"; and "yes, it could occur in someone's life at any given time." He then told me of an over the counter medicine that would help with the itchiness and some of the symptoms but unfortunately, I would have it the rest of my life.
I was so relieved. I wasn't a crazy nut. I wasn't hallucinating. I was actually right. He did tell me that I was lucky and that it was a mild case. Most people have it on their heads (which means you lose all your hair) and worst cases have it all over their body. (I can't even begin to imagine the pain and suffering in that.) He said that it might clear up some but he wasn't guaranteeing anything.
I was so glad. I started using the medicine he recommended and then I went on my way. I realized about a month later that it had almost completely gone from my hands. In fact, my left hand was completely clear and there were only splotches left on my right hand. My feet were better also.
To this day, I struggle with psoriasis on my hand and feet. On a good day, it just makes my feet look ugly and my hand look rough. On bad days, I look for something to scratch with so that I can kill the intense itching that overcomes my whole being. I will find anything to scratch with and I mean anything! When these days happen, I scratch until my feet are cracked and bleeding. I know this is going to happen but the itch is so intense that I can't stop myself. I still doctor the areas with the medicine the last dermatologist recommended. It helps but doesn't make it go away. When I am stressed, excited, upset, and when I first wake up in the morning the itch is much worse. I used to try to hide my feet so that people couldn't see it but I have long given that up. It is just something I deal with.
I am hoping that someday this will go away in the same fashion that it came. I keep praying. So, don't be grossed out when we shake hands. It is not contagious. It isn't cancer. It is just a skin thing. Be Blessed. I am always praying.
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